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Monday, February 9th, 2009
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The Rain. This weather phenomenon makes for my favorite day. I was standing outside trying to understand why rain is so amazing. Why is rain so moving and powerful? Why do i feel so amorous towards a type of weather? The answer is simple. It makes us feel cozy. It gives us a reason to stay inside, to be warm, play games and find entertainment. Mostly that entertainment involves socializing with the people we have known our whole lives. Its my favorite type of weather because it's fun to get wet. Who doesn't have the urge to stand out in the rain once in a while. How often does it occur? Everyone here acts like its a huge burden on us, but rain is minimal here in southern California. It is soothing. It could put a baby to sleep. It is exhilarating. I was watching it outside, the rain moves like a freeway in Los Angele's. It moves systematically. Its beautiful.
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Saturday, January 24th, 2009
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Since last year i've been under an investigation. I have led my life down a path most people take. For me, this is not the life i imagine. I feel grateful, to have the motivation to create something of myself. I am not envious of others who say they are living in the moment. I live in the moment by creating something of myself. The time for drinking can wait. My selfish antics will be put on hold. School will start, i'll see less of you and you and you but its the best thing for me. I can see the future, and it includes me and my lady, and saving money. Trying new things and getting involved in bigger ways i never dreamed. I want to help all those who need a hand but i need to get up on that platform first before i can reach down. blah blah bleh dah blah.
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Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
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President Obama said "The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness." So lets give the people their chance to pursue happiness and marry to whom they choose. Marriage is sacred and has been made no more sacred by heterosexuals cheating, lying, divorcing in record numbers never before seen in our history. All people should be able to pursue happiness and especially if that means allowing marriage between two individual people whether or not they are of the same sex or not.
"They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please." You have never been more right, that our power does not mean we can unleash our whole military on the people of Iraq. We can't intervene in Nicaragua, Guatemala and Chili to keep in power right-wing dictatorships because they support American business. We do not get to intervene in Lebanon, Iraq and Kuwait because of their rich resources in oil. Our power must be used to promote peace on the continent of Africa, stained by class warfare, poverty, disease and hunger. Maybe more importantly, we must use our power here at home first. Our power doesn't entitle us to round up Middle Eastern civilians and hold them with out crime and interrogate them. It did not entitle us to send Japanese Americans to camps in Idaho and Utah. It did not entitle us to deport and black list Communist in the land of freedom. It did not entitle us to take Mexico's land and promote a fight. To bomb Indochina's country's based on false accusations.
"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist" I judge President Regan for allowing the destruction on Afghanistan and not rebuilding its nation. For the first Bush, bombing Iraq and its civilians during the Gulf War, Clinton allowing bombs to be dropped in the middle of the night in Baghdad on hospitals and houses, to the new Bush for allowing more destruction in the lives of innocent people. Keep your word and know that we will judge you not, if you rebuild these poor nations including our own. We not be silenced when we protest, strike and boycott. The national television networks must promote the peoples demands. Corruption should be eliminated in our government if you want us to believe in you. Impeaching president Regan was not enough and instead we should of thrown out his secretary of state Henry Kissinger for mis-using his power in the war with Vietnam, or Madeleine Albright, Clinton's secretary of state for not giving a shit when they destroyed a hospital full of supplies for the Sudanese people.
You must be different.
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Monday, January 19th, 2009
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Our next president
please Mr. President lower the military budget
Invest more money into programs for the poor
tax more from the wealthy to benefit everyone
change the history of past presidents but not going to war in your term
use your power for the good of all people, hear the cries for help and the shouts for life, liberty and you will receive a jubliant, happy people.
don't serve the interest of corporations and stop american globalization.
you are our president, for the people and don't let us down.
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Wednesday, January 14th, 2009
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We are all not the same. As we walk past people on the street, almost all humans don't make eye contact, softly mumble hi. I am surprised when i discover something new about someone, but maybe i don't that much. I didn't know that we all get sad over death and poverty. We get mad at politicians and violence. We all sing and dance whether we are being watched or not. People protest. People want to fight for our rights. With this weapon that no one wants us to know, that we all possess power in unity, that it is possible to get along with the black, the immigrant, the foreign, the native, the recluse, the loud mouth, the happy, the radical, the mothers and fathers, we are all fighting for the same cause and with this weapon we can do anything. We can demand anything. That is the power we aren't supposed to know. Like repression is appeased with money, property or promise, we are appeased with television, games and money. Living a life of solidarity and poverty. Make money to buy expense new things. Then use those things to sit and be silent just like they want us to do. We can't be silent. I understand what Obama means when he says he can't do it with out the power of the people. He has to play the politics game but it's really us who have to unite and demand our rights.
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Monday, January 12th, 2009
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Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
By Langston Hughes
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Friday, January 9th, 2009
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Thursday, January 8th, 2009
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http://www.youthradio.org/news/gaza-city-diary-excerpts-safa-joudeh
You don't have to read anything. This is an audio diary entry.
Medical sources in Gaza and the UN reported that 702 Palestinians were killed as of 7 January.
The civilian death toll was 300 including at least 220 children, while more than 2,800 have been injured. Hamas claims 10 of its fighters have been killed. Five Israelis (two soldiers and three civilians) have been killed in the same period by Palestinian rockets, and 5 soldiers were killed and 32 were injured during Israel's ground offensive.
I don't know how to help. Getting information out for people to read is the only way i know how at this moment.
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Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
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Israel is accusing palestinians as using mosques, schools and residential areas as cover. Where else are civilians supposed to go? When is it okay to conduct an air strike 10 meters from a school? The death toll has risen by 30. This is the second Israeli air attack to strike a school. The second attack and Israel hasn't made a comment. Maybe its because they know they are committing crimes agasint humanity. They are killing innocent civilians, innocent children and the United States isn't condemming Israel for it? We can't stop the destruction because i guess it would be hypocritical of us to stop one country from doing what we have been doing. No instead we are focusing on the death of John Travolta's son [and im sympathetic to the family, it is always tragic to loose a child] and maybe we should mourn the death of the children in Palestine.
People across the world are rioting against the attacks Israel has started.
It looks like the missiles will still travel from one peice of land to the other. Fighting over symbolic dirt, righteous area that once when conquered and the evil people are killed im sure there will peace in asia.
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Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
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Sunday, October 26th, 2008
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If i know what to do, I know what path is mine, I have the support, I have the mind, I have the attitude. I feel anew. I love my best friend. I am on the verge of a new begining. Happiness at last under way. the cavlery to the rescue. feeling good. Motivation streaming fast, running like a locomotive. The train on it's tracks. Everything is so clear. I can sit and think of great thoughts and ideas. Like i said before, i love my best friend and that gets me through anything thats bad.
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
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I am finally excited for Cal State Fullerton. It will be a very exciting year. I have settled with the fact that i will just have to make it work with my expenses. It will be tight on the money department. I will make it work though. Maybe i can get a job in Fullerton so i dont have to travel so far. There is always an oppurtunity everywhere. Other than that, i will save money, work on school and graduate so i can begin my travels. It is unfortunate that money is holding me back to doing what i want. I am quiting coffee bean at the end of this year before i go to Texas with Justin and Matt and Robert. I am excited for that but i know so many people that are leaving at the end of this year. It will be a lot different environment. With amy in San Deigo, i will probably be making more trips towards that area. Not really sure what to expect in my journeys. Anything can happen.
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Thursday, August 14th, 2008
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Here i am, dividing clocks into fragments of appointments. It is what i like doing best, to know that i am making the most of my time. At this current moment, it is slipping by, inbetween my finger tips, sliding away from my side. The week, the girl, the days. Pretty lights and rose petals were a great effort for me, and unexpected one as well, more spontaneous than anything, and i feel great about it. Even if the master plan wont find its own way out of this knot, i liked the attempt. I can fill the space of my time to not think about anything else. I don't want to...who wants a day with out conversation, who wants a dance with out any music, i don't want a sun thats not bright, i don't want to forget you.
Next week im leaving for the city i left my heart in, San Francisco. I am full to the brim with excitment to see Mward and devendra banhart and the many others, i am glad i get to spend another week exploring this city but i feel like i have seen enough and i am ready to move on. I want to go to other places. After that i will come back on Monday and have to force my baggy eyes and tired legs to be at Marina at 7:30 in the morning. I will be crawling there. It's been a lonely summer with out it, actually. When i got my letter that gave me the run down on what will go on before the start of school, i felt like a real employee, not just going through the motions, afraid of being sacked. The personal mail box wasn't enough. Im ready to work with high school students and im not going to be timid and appropriate.
School is on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I will exploring my mind in new ways, it will put my head through a washing machine. Wednesday nights and saturday mornings are devoted to exploring my inner peace. Maybe one of my empty mornings can be held for playing music. I would want nothing more than to spend a day learning a new language with a teacher. And of cource i still have coffee bean time. I only wish i could call you in between all these plans and talk about your chemistry or law class's. How gretchen and kylie are doing, how your getting all A's and how your pissed because bower can't write tests.
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Saturday, July 26th, 2008
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I can't stop listening to Elliott Smith. I can't stop playing anything that makes a sound. I can't stop inhaling dirty air into my lungs. I can't stop thinking and i can't get it down right. I can't find my Paul McCartney (or my John Lennon, who's to say who could be who?) I can't stop smiling but i still can't be happy. I can't fill this empty fucking place i can't just stop exchanging i can't stay like this i can't stay here i can't leave i can't finish a sentence i can't fix an idea i started or get myself to call or find anyone who is going to want me around as much as you and it's just part of the way these type of things work out it's another petal wrapping the inside with another day another color fit in between another step towards something else this is it. i can't stop listening to the beatles either.
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I just bought my ticket to the outside lands festival. This is the new event i will be looking forward to for the next five monthes. Also seeing Beirut, with summer on its way, i should be spending a lot of time with Amy and other friends and im very excited. This is going to be a great year, and i feel confident that it will not disappoint me. Its going to be a year of the begining of change. It makes me tingle inside. Good or bad, it will be something new.
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Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
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Saturday, February 2nd, 2008
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This new view into the life of Robert Kennedy is enlightening. I didn't know much about the politician, i new he was important at the time to people but, i didn't know about him. Now that Obama is running, i can put myself in a young voters shoes during the time, being moved by such a brigh, promising individual. I think Kennedy was a compassionate person who understand what had to be done for the country. I wish i was able to live through the time when their was someone to look forward to, to help change the way we live. At the same time i am glad i didn't because i know i would feel a deep sadness during the times of frustration. I do beleive that Obama can change things in this country, like Bobby Kennedy wanted to. I hope we get to see him pick up where Kennedy left off once he is nominated to the democratic party or the presidency. I like who i like because they seem to actually want to help people in this country that need help. I love people like that,who care, who knows what its like to live in bad times, who actually seem to unite everyone together, no matter what political party there in, or how much money they have, and he seem's so genuine.
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Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
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Monday, January 28th, 2008
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Last night was my first time sleeping in my Dad's house, in about a year. Times the eve of the first day of school equals an anxious, uneasy nights sleep. But luckily i was so tired i fell asleep at Amy's house and was so tired from the night before. History class was fun, seems like everything im going to love is going to be taught to me. I am yet to find out the rest of my other professors, by the end of this week i will know wether this semester is going to be easy or hard.
I really enjoy this new roof over my head. It takes a second to take out the trash, the laundry is a few feet away and there is a pool. I have my own parking spot and i dont have to worry about my car. It has heating inside, there is cable t.v., a piano, a room to play my drums, surround sound, big kitchen, a dish washer and my sister and dad. It has been so long since i have lived with either one of them, i know i am going to love and hate them but i love this new adventure in my life. I want to get to know them both. I am a little farther away from school, from work, from friends. It will take me longer to get places but its a small price to pay for this comfort.
The semester is now starting, i will probably be absence a lot more from gatherings, from coffee bean, from time to chat and catch up. Dont be offended, dont be up set. this is just how it goes.
I wish i could sign in to my gwc. I wish i had the time to watch american gladiators so i could enjoy shitty tv. Now i must go and re-arrange my room. It is time to get my stuff in order. Lets do this.
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Monday, January 21st, 2008
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Ah.... the sigh of relief. That thought in your head that jumps out at you, screams for it to be heard...that could be realization. How often it happens, i don't know yet. How often i am blind to it, I have not been keeping count. I love realizing things though.
When i look at what i have, I am grateful. When i look at her, i know i love her. This happiness is so kind.
I realize that i think i love the people most, when i can hate them, and still be around them.
I change my mind A LOT. Probably once a day, i change my opinion on a person, an idea, a place, a thing, (all nouns, shit. i should have just said nouns) It is so stressful having my opinions change about so many things. I am never sure what i truly believe in. A day ago i didn't quite feel right about this person, Barack Obama didn't seem like my likely candidate, I didn't know if i want to teach at all, should i leave or stay? Shut up or talk? do something or lean back? Yeah, that love is a tricky thing though. I think having someone who is not like you is the best thing to have in a friendship. It balances your overly ambiguous characteristic. The ying and yang, black and white, north and south, good and evil. It works. I love...it. Love everything. So blind to that, i miss a lot. It becomes work to keep that ole game still playing. I don't mind it, but it is hard.
It's a simple life, this is. Just to do the things that make a person happy. It's simple, hard, fun, sad, regretful. Well hopefully im grateful. I mean, i really hope im grateful. Not just saying it. I am grateful for moving with my sister and dad, for my job, my future, my goals, my friendships, my friends at work, the funny memories i can still conjure up, school, learning, reading, cards, walking, technology, presidents, writers, girlfriend, relationships. Okay. now i can shut this computer up, go sleep comfortably and cozy, now that i got my thoughts down. Write it, read it, realize it and move on. (spontaneous prose, good ole jack style. Not trying to be like him, just writing like he says is the best way) good night
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robot_spaceship's journal
